Sunday, September 16, 2012

Weird Symptom

So, there's one symptom I've been dealing with that I've been too embarrassed to mention because it's pretty freaking disgusting. I know what you're thinking--something has to be pretty horrendous to embarrass me. What could it possibly be?

Wait for it...

Here's a ridiculous hint:

Yep. Stank ass breath.

I first noticed it about 3 weeks ago. The first time, I'd just turned on my computer at work, when it hit me like a ton of bricks that my mouth tasted like I hadn't brushed my teeth since I was 8. I was baffled that I'd somehow forgotten to brush. Who does that?

The next day, the same thing happened--only this time I wasn't going to accept that I'd forgotten to brush. Two days in a row? Come on. I racked my brain. Had I done anything different? Had I eaten anything different? Was anything in my life different?

That's when it dawned on me. Duh. I Googled, and sure enough. Pregnancy hormones cause abnormal plaque growth in some women. Of course I'd be one of these women.

I started flossing twice a day to keep my problem at bay, but I was still so, so self-conscious. I asked one of my support groups if anybody had dealt with this, and that's when my life was forever changed. A friend recommended I try this:

This is the toothpaste they use in Heaven. I wonder if it's $14 a tube there, too.

Holy crap. Suffice it to say that I've stopped trying to use sign language to communicate with people--and I'm back to basically never flossing my teeth. This toothpaste keeps even the nastiest of mouths (Danny will confirm that mine fit into this category until recently) feeling fresh and clean all day. 

If your breath smells like you've been swiping your breakfast from dumpsters, pick this up. It's well worth the money.  

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