Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Fat Feet and Pissy Pants

I happened to look down at my feet in a meeting this morning, and this is what I saw:

Yes, this is my foot. Yes, I am human. No, I don't weigh 500 pounds.

What the hell? Isn't it too early to be swollen like this? What's going on here? Yikes.

Then, ten minutes after realizing I have cankles and way too much foot for today's shoes, I choked on a seemingly innocent sip of water and coughed and coughed and coughed until I pissed my pants. I didn't get a picture of that.

Whyyyyy is the bathroom so far away? I ran down the never-ending hall, arms held above my head, choking and peeing, with tears streaming down my cheeks (from choking, not sobbing).

Now, I'm headed home to change my underwear because I'm 29 years old and just peed myself at work.

But I'm pregnant with a healthy baby, who obviously has a sugar buzz (I hope you enjoyed that cookie buffet, Little Man; I promise I'll let you eat cookies for breakfast when you're out here, too—but only sometimes.) and is dancing and kicking and enjoying life this morning. I love him so much.

Not a bad Wednesday so far.

10 comments:

Nicole Main said...

Looks like you need to put your feet up on your desk!

The Books said...

Not to scare you & I'm sure you already know this, but maybe you should give your doctor a call about preeclampsia if the swelling doesn't go down after having your legs propped up for a couple hours.

futurehope said...

haha oh pregnancy :P

Amanda said...

The Books - I have an appointment Monday, so they'll check my pee for protein then. Pretty sure this is just normal pregnant lady swelling, though. At least I hope so. :P

Anonymous said...

I agree with The Books, definitely mention the major swelling to your ob, swelling this early could be a sign of pre-e.

Courtney said...

Kegals, Kegals, Kegals!!!!! They will save your life (and your undies :) )

Colleen Garvin said...

Poor thing! The cankle thing sucks :( I got my Cankles then they went way till my baby was week late haha nice. Ill tell you what my doctor told me : every womans body is different, every pregnancy is different. I hope it gets better for you and hell you look gorgeous and glowing. Keep your head (and your feet) up pretty mama!

Amanda said...

Courtney--Kegel is my middle name! There was no stopping it. I was coughing too hard, and my bladder was too full.

The Books said...

Glad you have an appointment and that my comment wasn't taken the wrong way. :)

Emmett Katherine said...

This is my biggest nightmare (accident at work). Agh why are the bathrooms always so far away???

My feet no longer resemble human feet. I stuff them in boots and call it a day. I miss wearing cute shoes!!