|Yes, this is my foot. Yes, I am human. No, I don't weigh 500 pounds.|
Then, ten minutes after realizing I have cankles and way too much foot for today's shoes, I choked on a seemingly innocent sip of water and coughed and coughed and coughed until I pissed my pants. I didn't get a picture of that.
Whyyyyy is the bathroom so far away? I ran down the never-ending hall, arms held above my head, choking and peeing, with tears streaming down my cheeks (from choking, not sobbing).
Now, I'm headed home to change my underwear because I'm 29 years old and just peed myself at work.
But I'm pregnant with a healthy baby, who obviously has a sugar buzz (I hope you enjoyed that cookie buffet, Little Man; I promise I'll let you eat cookies for breakfast when you're out here, too—but only sometimes.) and is dancing and kicking and enjoying life this morning. I love him so much.
Not a bad Wednesday so far.